Blog #6

So far in my blogs I have covered a variety of topics from the stigma about HIV homosexuals to education in schools. This week I want to cover the dating life for HIV infected persons. The dating life in people living with HIV is sometimes easily overlooked, because we as people just look at other issues. One issue is dating someone and knowing when to disclose information to that person that you are HIV positive. So many thoughts spiral in the minds of an HIV infected individual such as: When should I tell him/her I'm infected? Should I tell that I'm HIV positive? and How would they react? are amongst the many questions that are thought about when dating comes around.

When dating, there are many reasons that people have trouble with when it comes to disclosing their information to someone else. Some of the conscious thoughts around this touchy subject are: 

• "Their HIV diagnosis will no longer be a secret". 
• "They fear the rejection that may come with disclosing their HIV status to a prospective partner".
• " They fear the judgments and stereotypes that come along with an HIV diagnosis". 
• "They are afraid they may lose their only shot at a relationship".

Although there may seem to be many dark sides to dating, there are also many positives. If the person is educated about the disease, they wont display ignorance to the person disclosing their information. It is also possible for someone who is HIV positive to have a healthy and safe relationship if the proper precautions are used carefully. In the end, dating life does not decease when a person becomes infected, it just opens a new chapter in that persons life. 

              

DID YOU KNOW?

• Kiss and Tell – those who choose to “kiss and tell” will go on a few dates before disclosing their HIV status. This does have its advantages. For one it allows you to wait and see if the relationship is going to get serious before disclosing. If the relationship stalls, your status was not disclosed needlessly. In other words, people who kiss and tell feel this option is best because it limits the number of people who become aware of their HIV diagnosis. Important Note! – Before any sexual contact can be made, HIV disclosure must occur.
• Tell and Kiss – there are some people who choose to “tell and kiss,” meaning that HIV disclosure occurs very early in the relationship, in some cases on the first date. One reason for early disclosure is there is less emotional attachment at that point. It is a fact of life that some people will not be ready to date an HIV-infected person. Some feel that it is better to be rejected early as opposed to later when an emotional connection has occurred. In addition, early disclosure implies honesty. Waiting to disclose until you have had a few dates first may be viewed as dishonest by some. Finally, people who disclose early find comfort in knowing that if the relationship does succeed and move forward, their partner accepts them for who they without conditions.

Cichocki, Mark. "HIV Dating - HIV and Dating - Dating with HIV." HIV Symptoms - HIV - The Symptoms of HIV. N.p., 6 Dec. 2006. Web. 23 Feb. 2011. <http://aids.about.com/od/legalissues/a/hivdating.htm